do you know what it's like when what you love is what you had,
and what you had is what you left?

do you know what it's like to sleep fevered with the sun rising next to your collar bone,
breaking the skin and tearing apart your bones?
square millimeter by square millimeter
having them dissolved in layers?

do you know what it's like to be completely empty and hollow?

and when someone calls you at five after seven
to ask you the same old questions that you don't want to hear
(you know, the questions that have been said so many times in the passed week by so many people that you could probably write a chorus about it)
it's those questions that really hurt

and really break someone

and really suck them dry

because it's the realizations that they lead to
that really fucking make you think about things
and they make you see who you are pushing away
and it fucking sucks

goddammit
what am i doing?
where am i going?

three months ago, i had my life mapped out
but i guess i called the wrong cartographer because i'm on an island now and surrounded by space
and then the floor gave out and i fell into the sun
and i touched a star and it melted into my flesh

i woke feeling more distant and more alone